Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Hypocracy Thy name is Gosselin

Today Jon Gosselin says he wants a 9 to 5 job and to be left alone to cry in his Ed Hardy handkerchiefs. Well you know what Jon Gosselin, you should have thought about that when you let your wife convince you to have eight kids. You couldn't keep it from squirting from your pants to the petri dish. I ain't got no love fo'yo ass.

But not to be entirely hypocritical here, I can't stand Kate either. I mean the woman got two healthy, if not demonic twins, Mady and Cara. But noooooo, she wanted more. So she bitched and whined and soon she was on "six months of bed rest" (you asked for it) in order to deliver her liter of six little puppies.

The Gosselins put up a good front for a while. I mean they were getting everything for free right? Would you be complaining? Yeah, me neither. If you asked me to do the dog and pony show for a trip to Disneyland I would ask you if you wanted me to be the dog, the pony or both. Hell if you wanted me to fuck them, I probably would. Needless to say, the Gosselins, who were once living on public assistance were now living the life.

The thing that makes me crazy about the Gosselins is this - here is a couple who made the arguably, foolhardy decision to have eight children without the means to support them. Then TLC stepped in and gave them the cash they needed to raise these little monkeys. BUT THEN, they started to get all holier than thou on us! Suddenly, the Gosselins were ORGANIC, they were GREEN, they RECYCLED, they had yard sales for CHARITY. They went to Kmart to by toys for NEEDY CHILDREN WITH CANCER. Kate Gosselin wrote books about what it was to be a good parent, you know, because she is a better mother than anyone out there. Her book was a best seller and women flocked to their local Barnes & Nobel to hear Kate's wisdom. The Gosselins believed they were better than us and we believed it too.

But everything comes with a price. You have cameras in your home. The public becomes interested. And then it all goes to hell. The irony of it all is that now we are all glued to the unraveling. This week Kate talked to people, last week Jon talked to Life & Style. The week before his girlfriend talked to US. Then the other girlfriend talked to OK!. I'm waiting for the kids to give an exclusive to Highlights.

In the end, I'm glad I can't afford organic, recycled toys to give to kids with cancer because then I might have to talk to US Weekly about it too. So Gosselins, we have your number. You're not perfect. We watched you pretend, now we'll watch you deny the truth. I guess that's what makes good tv.

1 comment:

Xiomara said...

I think you're being unfair to the twins. CLEARLY, it's Mady who's the demonic one. Poor Cara just gets carried away in her satanic wake.