Monday, July 11, 2005
Inspired by a heady conversation with friends about the philosophies
on life we have learned from Sir Patrick Swayze's characters in modern
American cinema, we'd like to present:
Patrick Swayze's Philosophies on Life
Ghost: When someone tries to mug you, let them. If not, you'll die and have to watch Whoopie Goldberg French kiss your fiancé.
The Outsiders: It's hard to be poor and in a gang, even if you're
white. Also, don't go near fires.
Road House: Being a bouncer is a tough job, but the only way Kelly Lynch is going to fuck you is if you have a great mullet.
Red Dawn: If the Russians come a knockin', take your friends into the forest (preferably the hot ones), name yourselves the Wolverines and
you can live off food from your daddy's feed store.
Point Break: Never trust a cop named Johnny Utah.
To Wong Foo: If you dress up in drag, Wesley Snipes will mistake you for his girlfriend and beat and sexually assault you.
Dirty Dancing: Shake your pelvis like Elvis, sleep with the summer camp guests, wear leather jackets and smoke, and don't make fun of Mr. Kellerman. Above all, "Join hands and hearts and voices; voices,hearts, and hands." And no one ever, ever, puts Baby in a corner.