Resolve: Postivity in ‘08

I silently resolved to be more positive in ’08. If you know me, you know that is like me willing myself to grow a third eye in the middle of my heed. That is why I made a SILENT resolution.

Experiment Positivity ‘08 lasted 3 days, 7 hours and 10 minutes.

Oh, I made it through the 23 minute prayer at Christmas. Stay positive, it’s the holidays.
I made it through the trip to the new Walmart and all of it’s Chinese made evils.
I made it through the asshole who almost drove my brother off the road on the way home because he had a death wish and I almost ran him off the road in retaliation.
I made it through the flight to New York next to the Gelats from Southgate who decided it would be a great idea to talk and eat pumpkin seeds through the duration of the red eye to New York because they were “Going to see the ball drop in Times Square for New Years and try to get on TV with Ryan Seacrest.”
I made it through the 2 for 1 sale at Shoemania and actually purchased a pair of shoes.
I made it back on the flight from NY without getting SARS from the crazy woman sitting next to me who never covered her mouth when she coughed.
I even made it back to work in a pretty damn fucking good mood yesterday and stayed positive until I had to come back today and wonder why I didn’t save myself the misery of it all and stay home watching the “My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding” marathon on TV.

Postitivity ‘08 is over because I’m currently wasting my fucking life away at work listening to idiots talk about the Iowa Caucus and wanting to shoot myself. I want to shoot myself because people who are dumber than me are circling my orbit espousing about politics, while people smarter than me were wise enough to realize they would be assholes if they came to work and sat here playing Scrabulous on Facebook for 6 hours and kicking themselves for not bringing an ipod to drown out the din of ignorance that permeates my workspace like white noise. Why can’t we stop pretending that you people are informed and talk about Britney? Why can’t we talk about Project Runway? Why can’t I leave and go see the 5pm screening of National Treasure?!?!

I want to go home. That’s the only thing I am fucking positive about today.