Every morning when I'm getting ready for work, deep in to the middle of my hair styling process, I inevitably have to pause to change the channel on my TV because I hear IT. The amazon sounding, high pitched wail of that fucking bitch from Wicked.
The voice over tells us that great tickets are FINALLY available, for the #1 musical in Los Angeles history, an extended run, don't miss the magic, see what happened before Dorthy dropped her ass into Oz. WICKED! THE MUSICAL! Then I hear it. I can't find the remote! Fuck fuck fuck! Hurry, I can't hear it! Nononononono. Make it stop. Must change channel. Pronto! "Ahhhhhhhhh-ahhhh-ahhhhhhh!" Nooooooooooooooooooooooo. Worst than knowing that Regis & Kelly are coming on in 2 minutes and I'm fucking late to work again, it's the shrill howl of Elphaba. That green bitch from Wicked.
You know what Ephebia, I know shit sucks because you are green. I know that your roommate Galenda is "Pop-Ular" and you are pissed because she is a selfish LA hoe, who in another incarnation was probably in the slutty sorority at USC. There are muchkins running all over the place. I know your paralyzed little sister gets more game than you and your only friends are flying monkeys. All of these things are super frustrating. But you know what? I am fucking sick and tired of hearing your sorry ass howl every morning when I get ready for work, on my morning drive, on my IM advertisements. Get the fuck over it. No one cares. Go wail in Schenectay you dumb bitch. I'm over you.
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