Everyone needs a little help in their lives and when you're a Hollywood star you need it even more. But in this world of selling sex tapes and writing tell all books, it just makes you wonder who you can really trust anymore. That's why celebs entrust their assistant duties to their friends. I mean, what a great fucking way to hang out and get on payroll. That shit is genius. It's kind of like when your uncle would employ all your unemployable cousins in his mechanic shop or something. The Godmother of hiring your bff is J. Lo. She has her trusted friend from the block, Arlene follow her around and they get mani/pedi's together and J.Lo buys her things and she gets a salary. Arlene is brilliant. Other celebs like Jessica Simpson have followed suit. She has even flown CaCee (corn) Cobb out from Texas, y'all. Britney Spears has that feita Felicia follow her around everywhere tambien. Felicia also has really big ears so she can hear gossip and the click of the telephoto cameras from really far away. Tres helpful. All these assistants get the fancy treatment, get to be in magazines as "friend" or "guest" and yet they benefit from all the perks without having to be tabloid fodder. Who wouldn't want the left overs of someone's shwag bag from the Oscars? I mean come on now. Smart women. Smart women.
5 comments:
I want to be Arlene! Blog Goddess, can I be your Arlene when you become a rich and famous person?
your wish has been granted. now where is my room temp water with crushed ice in a seperate recyclable cup? I care about the environment and so should you. now go rescue me a dog!
Mujer, i will grate lemon zest into your iced tea with no ice if you buy me extensions and highlights like Arlene. Her hair looks good, girl.
Ooh, just a thought...do you think Jen makes Arlene use her old extensions? I have a vision of Oribe cutting J-Lo's hair, Arlene sweeping and scooping up the hair into a little ziploc bag, Arlene jumping "on the six" to go back to the Bronx, and then Arlene giving the fake hair to the salon professionals at the local Puerto-Rican salon de beauty to get her hair on.
I wouldn't put it past J-Lo. Seriously.
Um, I think Arlene lives on left overs. Left over platanos, left over mofongo, left over extensions. At least she's smart enough to go to the unisex salon de beauty. Only your peoples know how to did you right.
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